This was one night I will never forget. Just the other day I had a conversation with my friend Jeremy, about the current apple of my eye. I was once again losing it. Holding back tears and despair about why I always end up having unrequited feelings. Why doesn’t he want me and all those depressing ideas. Of course as always I tried to uplift myself, anyway, the conversation went like this…




 Me: Siguro kapag pumayat na ako magugstuhan na nya ako…

Jeremy: Kapag pumayat ka na ba, are you sure sya parin ang gusto mo?

I was stunned at first but answered,
 Me: Malamang…Hindi.

So there it is, the truth comes out. Maybe the reality is I am stuck up on having feelings for the guy because of the idea of liking someone or maybe if there are others that would like me I wouldn’t hold on to these feelings much.  I am surprised at myself for having thought of changing my mind in the end, it only goes to show that nothing is permanent in life. All that we feel now can easily be replaced and all that we know can be forgotten. Ever changing, that’s what we are. I don’t see any shame in that. It’s real and it’s human. Even if I do end up with someone and love him till my last breath, I know each day I will spend with him will be different and my feelings for each day different as well. I once heard that nothing is constant except change. It’s true but even if I already know that, my present is the most important. What I do and feel each day is the one I have to cherish and think about most. If I am happy loving just because I can then, I shall do that till the day ends. If am happy doing the thing I love, I shall do so till time I have to rest and sleep. If feel more fulfilled doing things for the others, than I shall. So I can say the day was well spent and if tomorrow I failed to wake up, I’ll know my last day was spent with happiness, without regrets, without sadness and all filled with things that makes one want to continue on living.


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